I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. I remember exactly where I was.
I was smoking a cigarette outside after church (yes I went to church) and it made me sick. I had been smoking for years and I never remembered lighting up making me feel so ill, like I was going to pass out. My girlfriend that was with me said “you’ve been feeling weird lately, are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
The idea of me being pregnant was a joke. I was married at the time, but we weren’t each other’s biggest fans.
That was a Sunday.
Tuesday I bought a pregnancy test.
My girlfriend was with me when I found out that I was going to be a mother.
I sobbed. I thought of every despicable thing that I had done over the last few weeks (which I later found out was approximately two months.) I thought, I’m not ready.
Is anyone ever really ready?
Fast forward fifteen years.
Fifteen years. I’m tough, but fifteen years?
I remember when I was fifteen and what assholes I thought my parents were.
My son is named after Cameron in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Kameron with a “K” because I decided he was going to have to spell his last name for everyone for the rest of his life, so why not add that exclamation point? “Yes, I’m Kameron with a “K”…
After all he’s my son; I don’t play small ball.
It’s been so hard for me to watch him become a man. It’s so hard.
Tonight he asked me what time he was born (I have no idea why.) I told him he was born at 7:47 pm in room 2020. He looked at me and I told him “I always said you would be a pilot, with perfect vision.” He laughed and walked away; I was immediately transported to that moment when I knew life would never be the same.
My son, he’s such a good man.
I don’t know how it happened, I wish I could take all the credit, but I can’t.
- Johnno – Thank you for everything, we miss you so much, every day.
- Mr. D. – You are the definition of a good man, I am so thankful that Kameron has you as a role model.
- Mr. Clady – Thank you so much for believing in Kameron, you are a fantastic inspiration to everyone.
I can’t wait to see what Kameron does in the years to come…. I’m sure it will be expensive.