One of my least favorite things of all time is the car line at Kameron’s school. I’ve seen people literally look like they were going to come unglued in the car line. I have to admit, I’ve said a few choice words to myself about this idiocy. Seems pretty simple to me..you get in line, wait for your child, the child gets in the car, you drive away. I guess there is some book somewhere in the principal’s office with a special drawer; you must have the exact key code to unlock the car line secrets. I imagine unlocking that drawer someday, opening up the book with angles singing in the background as I uncover all the secrets of the car line.
Who the hell am I kidding? We’ll get through seventh and eighth grade and move onto what is sure to be a more complex car line in high school.
Anyway I was sitting in the car line today waiting for Kameron to come out of choir practice. Choir practice ends at 4:00 which really puts a dent into my Dr. Phil time, so already I’m irritated. Did I mention that my son moves as slow as a snail? Especially after a long day at school and choir practice on top of that. Did I also mention that Kameron still doesn’t recognize my car that I’ve had for two months? I’ve seen him walk right past it looking for my Jeep that Mr. D now drives. It’s frustrating.
I caught a glimpse of Kameron in my rear view mirror today, he seemed to be moving, almost speed walking to my car. “Great” I thought to myself. He’s going to blow past my car again. In anticipation of that happening I rolled down my window in order to get his attention which didn’t happen. What I heard from inside my car certainly got mine “Kaaammmeerrroonnn I love you!” “Kameron I’ll see you tomorrow – kisses!” My mind instantly turned into scrambled eggs because I didn’t even notice that Kameron had gotten into the car. Flushed, eyes wide open, with a look of (dare I say) terror on his face he said “Mom get me out of here!” Putting the car in drive and throwing caution to the wind as I drove quickly out of the car line.
I think we were both in a state because I said in a somewhat crazy voice “who was that?” Kameron told me the girl’s name, but for the life of me I couldn’t tell you what it is now. “It’s her mom, she says she loves me, she won’t leave me alone!” “I don’t like her like that mom!” I thought “man, choir girls are more aggressive than I remember.” They were always the soft-spoken girls when I was in school. I guess things have changed a bit.
I let Kameron calm down a bit. He was listening to his iPod to some really loud music. I do that too when I’m frazzled. What do I say? What do I do? Last year he can’t get enough of the girls (one in particular.) This year he’s running away from them. I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned off his iPod, he knew it was time to discuss the situation.
I said “Kameron do you know why she’s teasing you and making a big deal about her liking you?” “No” he grumbeled. I said “well, she probably does like you, but she’s telling you and you’re freaking out right?” I got a defeated “Yeah.” In my infinite mommy wisdom I asked him “do you want her to stop?” “YES!” “If you want her to stop ignore her. She’s only doing it to get a reaction out of you. If you don’t freak out after a while she’ll stop.” “Ok Mom,” I could tell he was feeling better.
He seemed relieved and I was too. Now not only do I have a car line problem, it appears I have a girl in the pink sweatshirt problem. Fabulous!