Mr. D has four children. I don’t know if some of you knew that. I also don’t know if you knew that all of the children lived with us when we first got married. That’s right, I was Carol Brady. I loved it, I really did. I loved every single one of those kids like they were my own children.
Then something happened which made it impossible for one of the children to live with us. He went to live with his mother. Even with the circumstances we still tried to have a relationship with him. He’s made it clear on several occasions that he wants nothing to do with his father or me.
Shortly after he left the other two kids were coerced to leave and live with their mother. Ben being one of them. I was heartbroken, we all were.
Samantha stayed with us. I’ve never asked her why. Her strength, even as a sixteen year old girl helped us get through the adjustment of not having the others there.
Kameron was sad for obvious reasons. He had this big family, then they were gone. It was hard for him and we got him some counseling. I think he’s turned out to be a pretty good kid.
Over the years Mr. D tried to stay in contact with the three that were gone. When the oldest boy said “look I like it when you take me places and get me things, but as far as just hanging out with you, I’m not interested.” The youngest girl said “I don’t want to have a relationship with you right now, and I don’t know if I will ever again.” It hurts me for them because Mr. D is a incredible man. I know from personal experience I would give anything just to spend time with my father again. They are loosing something very precious, I feel they will regret their actions someday.
Then there’s Ben. Benny Boo. The last time I saw Ben he was eleven. With infectious eyes and a sweet laugh, Ben was a charmer. He liked ketchup on everything. Grilled cheese with ketchup and tomato soup. It still makes me shake my head. Ben is the only kid, other than Samantha, that has kept in touch with Mr. D. I guess for about six months now they’ve been having lunch or going to movies. Mr. D always seemed happier after seeing Ben, I encouraged him to keep talking and seeing him as much as possible.
There have been a couple of times that my ex ditched Kameron for the weekend and he would be at home when Mr. D went to go see Ben. He wouldn’t make a big deal out of it but Kameron knew what was going on. So yesterday I asked if Mr. D thought Ben would mind if Kameron went to lunch with them. He called and Ben said that would be ok. Kameron was so excited, and I was excited for him.
As they left, I felt happy and sad at the same time. I thought it was great that Kameron was going to be able to see Ben, but I wanted to see him too.
I knew they were going to lunch and a movie, I figured they would find something to do between their stops. That’s when Mr. D called me and said they were going to swing by the house. “Ok” was what I thought I said and hung up the phone. Anxiously I waited to hear the door come open.
I was in the kitchen when Kameron walked past me with a big grin on his face. Then Mr. D came in, behind him was Ben. A much taller Ben with a much deeper voice when he said “hi” to me. I stood in front of him and said “well I certainly didn’t think I was going to have to look up to you to see your face” (seriously the kid is taller than Mr. D.) Ben grinned and bent down and gave me a hug.
It was one of the best hugs of my life.
Little steps I tell myself, but yesterday was a great start.