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I Always Wanted A…. July 28, 2012

Boy.

But not just any boy, I wanted a quarterback. You know that bit that Bill Cosby does when he’s talking about his son, teaching him how to be tough. One part of it he tells him “now go over there and bite that tree.” Towards the end of the bit Cosby’s son is playing in a football game, as he describes it “he just runs over everybody, scores a TD, the TV camera is in his face and his son says “hi mom!”

That’s what I wanted then.

So we tried it out, first it was soccer, which was miserable. Kameron would end up kicking rocks or grabbing weeds in the field. He did have one shining moment when the ball accidentally came to him, he picked it up, ran to our teams goal, sat the ball down and kicked it in. He was so proud of himself, and I was thinking when is the season over?

Then there was baseball. Which he played for several years. He was decent, not great by any stretch of the imagination. Baseball was fun, until kid pitch came around. Kameron would stand up at the plate terrified that he might get hit by a wild pitch. I don’t even think he swung the bat that season. So much for baseball.

Football, finally, football. He wasn’t tall enough to be a quarterback, he wasn’t big enough for defense. So they stuck him on the line or the sidelines if he really was bad that day. Kameron was afraid to get tackled, doesn’t really work in a contact sport like football. My dreams of Kameron being interviewed by ESPN after a game winning touchdown went right down the toilet.

There had to be something this kid liked to do besides play video games. At a very early age I noticed that Kameron could memorize things. I mean anything, well anything if he was interested in it. When my mom said something to me about a theater camp at Roncalli I thought why not? Gets him out of the house, he can meet some new people, he likes to sing and dance, sounds good. The play was Godspell Junior that year. My dad and I took turns picking him up everyday from practice. I would ask how it was going, if he was having fun. The answer was always the same “Yes.” I figured ok, maybe we’ll do this again next year.

The night of the play we really didn’t know what to expect. Kameron hadn’t mentioned any special part that he might have. As far as we knew he was a background singer/dancer. About midway through the play Kameron came running out to the middle of the stage and grabbed the microphone. My family gasped as he started to sing, and he was good! My dad was sitting next to me, he poked me and said “I think Kameron has found his calling.” Afterwards basking in his own glory I asked Kameron “why didn’t you tell me you had a singing part?” I think his answer was “I wanted to surprise you.” Well kiddo you knocked my socks off that night.

Last year Roncalli did “Into The Woods” which Kameron had watched several times and read the book. His mind was made up, he wanted the part of the wolf. I told him “Go in there an believe you already have the part, you can do it, it’s the perfect part for you.” After tryouts the instructor said “he did his lines without the script in front of him, I’ve never had anyone do that before.” I just smiled and said “he believed he already had the part.” 

This year was Seussical The Musical Jr. After picking him up the first day I asked “do you know who you want to be yet?” He said “it’s hard to decide, there are a lot of fun parts, but I think I would like to be Horton.” Horton I later found out was the biggest part in the play. Confidently I told him “you can have that part, you’ve already made up your mind haven’t you?” He just smiled and shook his head yes.

Kameron was serious about this part. Every night I would walk by his room and he would be reading and highlighting his lines. He was diligent, now if I could just transfer that energy to seventh grade math.

Two performances both perfect. My little elephant. I felt a tear roll down my face when he started to sing, I was so proud of him. Afterwards everyone told him what a great job he did. He thanked everyone gracefully he loved all the attention he was getting. I just stood there beaming with mom joy.

A quarterback? Please. Aren’t there too many of those in the world anyway?

 

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Eggs – Can I Get A Little Help? July 26, 2012

I love reading Nuvo.

It’s an every Wednesday grab for me. What I need to know for food, entertainment, and all the strip club adds in the city Nuvo’s got it.

This particular advertisement grabbed my attention because it had my doctor’s logo on it. Egg Donors Needed, I read on. The short story is if you’re a healthy, non-smoking woman between the age of 21-31 people would like your eggs. I’m not talking about the kind you crack either. It seems that they are willing to pay a nice amount of money for said eggs (up to three large.) I looked at the age limit again and cursed myself for not knowing about this years ago.

So I was talking to a friend earlier and told her about the advertisement. She said “you would do that?” I said “hell yes.” I think she kinda freaked out. Then she said “so you would just do that, you could have children of yours walking around and you wouldn’t know about them?” I explained to her that I really didn’t feel that way about it. My thought is I would be helping someone who wanted a child but could not have one without my eggy help. I think that she said something about me being crazy (duh) and something about hell, but I really wasn’t paying attention to her anymore.

I hung up the phone and thought what an idiot. The idiot being her and not me of course. I mean guys make sperm donations. Which is a lot more gross by the way, and I’m pretty sure they don’t get paid that much to do “it,” and they enjoy it for crying out loud.

It did make me curious. How do you feel about this? Would you donate your eggs to help a stranger experience the joys of parenthood? Poopy diapers, tears, snot, vomit, boogers, warm hugs, unexpected kisses, uncontrolled laughter, utter amazement, pure love.

Either way, I’m cutting out the add to give to my step-daughter. I mean what college student couldn’t use 3k?

 

A Letter To My Husband July 14, 2012

I cant believe that we’ve been married for five years. Five years has gone by so quickly! I still remember the first time I ever saw you. Standing by the pool house with your cream sweater on. You looked so handsome and gentle. I remember after our first date telling a friend “I’m going to marry him.”

Months later we got engaged, and married on July 14, 2007.

Ten days later I lost my job. You told me “don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” You supported everything I did with enthusiasm and encouragement.

A few months later we had something devastating happen with the kids. I was crushed, you were in so much pain. Again you looked at me and said “I can’t be without you, and I won’t.”

When I had problems with my ex you looked at me and said “Kameron is like my own son, I’ll take care of him.”

When my aunt Jeanne got sick and was in the hospital you sat in the waiting room and held my hand. When she passed away you held me as I cried.

When my Dad got sick and was in the hospital you had to keep things together at home so I could be there for my Dad. When he came home from the hospital you did a lot of homework and cooking so I could hang out with Dad. Part of me died when my Dad died, you know that. It was the darkest time in my life. I cried, screamed, and cried more. I wasn’t good for anyone at all during that time, and you stood by me.

When I wanted to start my company you supported me. I remember you saying “I think that’s a great idea!” It was a few months after my Dad died and I remember feeling good about something when so much had gone wrong.

The point is because of you I now believe that true love exists. I couldn’t have made it without you.

My Mr. D.

With you I’ve seen the pride of a father’s face when his oldest daughter graduated from high school. I also saw the tears that ran down your face the first time she pulled out of the driveway. I’ve seen the love, and encouragement that you’ve given to my son. My son has grown into a kinder more respectful young man because of your example.

With you I’ve experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Sometimes I think how did we get through all of it? One word.

L.O.V.E.