I swear to God, if I hear one more Father’s Day commercial, I might go ape shit. I cry every day, the loss of my Father has been the worst thing that I’ve ever had to live through. I try to put on a brave face, but the loss of my “safe place to fall” is devastating to me. My Dad was my best friend, he would have done anything for me, I could always count on him, even if he didn’t agree with the path I was taking, I knew he was just a phone call away.
He wasn’t perfect though.
My Dad was a hard core disciplinary. I learned that I didn’t want to ask my Dad something more than 3 times. 3 was the limit. 4 got your ass kicked. Dad worked at Bakers Shoes for 25 years, he wasn’t around much for the day to day thing. He worked 12 hours a day, and had a short fuse when it came to “Family Time”. When he got terminated from Bakers he had several different jobs. I think he was embarrassed from getting terminated from Bakers – he should have sued for Age Discrimination, I wish I would have been a little bit older, I would have pushed to sue, it was such bullshit.
So why he isn’t a saint. I’m 16. I bought tickets for the John Cougar Mellencamp concert at the State Fair Grounds, with my own money, and invited my friend Megan Jarvis (who was staying at our house, because her parents were in Europe.) The day of the concert, a Saturday, which was unusual for my Dad to be home. I was getting ready to leave, 2 hours before the concert, (I had no idea people were camping out for 2 days before the concert.) I’m getting ready to leave, Dad asks me where I’m going. I said “we’re going to the concert Dad” (with 16 year old attitude.) My Dad said “I want you to do the dishes first.” I remember saying “Dad, I bought these tickets, I’m going to this concert, I’m not doing the dishes first.” You wanna bet???
Guess who didn’t go to the concert….My Dad took my younger sister Marcia nearby to the Fair Grounds to scalp the tickets I had worked so hard to get. The dishes were done by the time he got home. My Dad kept the money.
I remember talking about this story with my Dad before he went into the hospital. He denied how hostile he was, “I would never do that” is what he said. True enough, in his later years, he was a kinder, gentler, Johnno.
I miss my Dad so much. I get so upset when I see people talk about that they “have” to spend time with their Dads. I would do anything to have my Dad back for just one day, just one hour. To tell him how much I love him, to thank him for being my soft place to fall. To yell at him, for not taking care of himself. I would give anything, I would do anything, for that one moment.
Please enjoy your time with your Father on Fathers Day. Don’t let any word left unsaid, let him know how much you love him.